


Sensational Soliciting

by YaoiMasterShota



Series: Sensational Soliciting [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Animal Abuse, Asylum, Basement, Bipolar Disorder, Cannibalism, Charisma, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Child Death, Child Murder, Childhood Trauma, Crimes & Criminals, Delusions, Depression, Devotion, Drunk Sex, Eating Disorders, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gay Sex, God Complex, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kidnapping, Love, M/M, Manipulation, Masochism, Mind Manipulation, Murder, Narcissism, Necrophilia, Oral Sex, Paranoia, Past Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Phone Sex, Psychological Torture, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Rape, Rough Sex, Sadism, Schizophrenia, Sexual Content, Sho gives Shenzo child porn because he loves him, Smoking, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Synesthesia, Torture, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, Worship, psychologist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 06:22:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15213083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiMasterShota/pseuds/YaoiMasterShota
Summary: This is NOT child porn.Shenzo, a male in his early twenties, was diagnosed with mania, sociopathy, Schizophrenia, and pedophilia. He lives with dark fantasies, due to his troubling past. To compensate, he rapes and murders females. His coworker, Sho, is a depressed and disoriented criminal psychologist. On the side, he is a stalker who is in love with Shenzo and does everything for him, despite Shenzo not being able to reciprocate his feelings. A criminal and a criminal psychologist, companions? Why, yes. This is the tale of two corrupt minds and illegal activity. Shall there be punishment, or no resolve?





	1. Coincidental

In the alley we had been, after a night full of sinful gin, delectably sweet and sour, perfect upon the night hour. She wore a dress, so sickly thin, extravagant and memory-drawn red. I could create my own red, superior. Her voice was deep and seductive, luring this predator in. I convinced myself I adored children, sexualized them without remorse. I preferred males to females, yet I was not the pickiest specimen. When she flashed me a manipulative leer, I was entranced by this wicked sheen of feminine beauty. I was not a virgin, but I was inexperienced with females. An extrovert who was secretly an extreme introvert. All I did was spend my time observing and reacting. Minus the reactions and I would be my introverted self, void of the extroverted shell.

    My head pounded with alcohol, hands dancing across the soft and silky surface of her bosom cover, patching the slit of her lips. She moaned like the average whore, compliant and easy to capture. The scent of trash shook my form and caused me to rush my tactics, furiously grinding against her as if we were the only ones around. I wanted to cut open her cunt with my fingernails and feel the flow of blood roll down my arm. I wanted to slice her open with my fists and hammer my bone into her capsule.

    I groped the woman before me, who was appreciative of my highly sex driven nature. I forged my body inside her delightful gem, slamming in, jerking about, raping her lipstick-sullied mouth to its enlightening core. She closed her eyes, submitting tremendously effortlessly, cathartic. In that precious blink of time, I coiled my estranged comportment around her beautiful breasts, forcing my knife in and plaguing her silly with gruesome, grisly wishes, victim to my temptations and impulse. A guttural scream was seized, captured, withheld; release me at once, predatory Shenzo! With that lack of compliance, I pushed both weapons inside, flooding her with blood and impregnation. An agonized moan tethered on the edge of her lips, her female garment squeezing around the knife and my non-dormant phallus. I heard her beg, unsympathetic responses following in suit.

    "Forget this happened, otherwise you will see a vicious side of me."

    My actions were no mistake, nor did I have the capacity in my heart to accommodate remorse for them, therefore not a shred of guilt riddled my poisonous stature. She whispered an empty threat, followed by muttered cursing, words threaded together by a heave as she ostracized me. Blood was leaking and dressing my costly pants with the dripping darkness which befell me. It was the second woman I had impaired in the past month. The last woman deemed the situation unspeakable, and due to her fearful composition, had not returned to the scene, choosing instead to exclude herself from society's keen eyes.

    "I will see you sometime in the future, my dearly departed butterfly, drenched in feathers."

    Her breath was constricted to a withered husk. "Feathers...?"

    "You tried to fly. _You fell in water_."

    She convulsed against me in her contrived getup, for many fretful seconds. I refrained from abandonment, observing her suffering state, heat drifting and arousal yanking my zipper short. Like a mutt, I wanted a continuous session, pampering my palpable paraphilia. The desire was derived from my decrepit upbringing. I disillusioned myself with deluded detriment, analyzing my mind, connecting the root of the issue to the current situation. I stumbled back into an achroous world stripped of meaning; bushwa.

    As a child, my parents had conspired against society, filming their son explicitly in his attire of nude. I was fondled, molested, nearly raped on several occasions, innocence punctured. Characterized as young, I had ablepsia toward the cruel fetishizing of my guardians. Both were pedophiles, primarily attracted to children, though not exclusively. I was the star of child porn, which they had been abditive enough to hide from police, when interrogated and accited. I grew up in a destructive environment, tormented by distilled rage, partial to those who tried imposing their ebullient perceptions on me. I cowered in a cage of reckless self indulgence, scathing remarks rejected. I became incapable of feeling and sensing affection, dismissing the advances of my peers. I was tortured by my sexual attraction, from the age of thirteen. I had felt immense attraction to myself when I was very young, mortified by my body on display, though curious.

    When I became thirteen, I was aroused by other children, surveying the world for a reminder of who I once was. I projected myself on to others, searching for the one who would appreciate my aggression. Children were defenseless, oblivious, easily influenced.

    Chinimi dialed the police number on her phone as I distracted myself by attesting my impulsive actions were false. I could not become romantically or emotionally attached to anyone.

    "Not yet. Come home with me," I growled, willing to use force if she resisted. She was more intelligent than that, nodding and collapsing against my frame. I could murder her before she gave birth to damnation incarnate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I smeared her into hot water, pinning her neck down and requesting acrotism, smothering her with my buss. Blood tainted the tub, anonymity marking familiarity. I did not bear it, could not share it, the dark depths at the end of the cliff, a tunnel of turmoil leading to a land of floral. Her spine was a patch of crocodile scales, taupe in the illumination of my hallucination. Her skin was pallid, soaked in narcissism, color stolen by the brutal treatment of her parents. Ah, foolish Shenzo, thinking about yourself.

    I yearned for her suffocating mind, lulled to rest by water swelling her organs and turning them to balloons. Avast, I chuckled, fingers invading her mouth and yanking her from the stillness by the roof. She choked on despair, agrizing, arising from heaven underground and joining me in a wasteland of hell above. I pulled on the ring of her nipple, inciting agitation and mocking her ruthlessly, tearing dried skin from her neck and professing my adoration for sputtering by doing such.

    She slid her hand over mine, proposing a pandemian act of prostitution. In fear, she attempted to separate all distance, teasing my emotions and contorting my intentions into a parade of distortion. This female, I needed to release my sadism on her, not appreciate her care. She was manipulative, gambling for my anticipative self, which existed, fleeting, ideal. If she managed to extort it from me, there would be vengeful consequences in suit.

    "Do you have a girlfriend?" she gasped as I raked my nails against her leg, which breathed blood, gritty.

    The only person belonging in my life was a coworker named Sho, whose appetite for me expanded over the horizon, his snarky childish demeanor imploding. He was akin to a puppy, following by the arm, maximizing his appeal when he asked for a visit after work. I had sex with him when the lust for children became overwhelming, holding him and confessing. He was the one I trusted. I confided in him and spoke of the troubling head atop this eagerly aroused statue. It happened while we were drunk, groping each other against hotel bed sheets. I could not handle a proper relationship, and he was aware.

    "Something of the sort."

    I rammed my elbow against the back of her neck, jerking her forward with a hand digging into her skull, her nose cold against the side of the tub. She wailed in desperation, particularly when I ravaged her shoulder and drew more blood from her leaking museum of a body. The skin was stained an astonishing red. She ached in terror and enticed with her inaudible elation, endermic for my burden. She blatantly befuddled me, loathsome and lonesome. I did not understand humans, and had been diagnosed with sociopathy.

    "Why are you squirming like a worm while you push your ass against me?" I snickered, mulling over the taction.

    "Nn... you're the one pushing against me! Police!"

    "No one can hear you. If you scream loud enough, they might rise up from the dead and give a damn."

    Coming to the realization that I was a murderer, she scrambled to stand, slipping in the water and injuring her knee. What a bitch.

    "You're disgusting! You need help!" she insisted.

    "There is no helping someone corrupt. I resemble... a fowl."

    She did not pry, as surmised, conceitedly crabbing her body from my torso, twisting and clutching the tub. I pompously positioned her on my lap, noting her neck was pertinent. The crocodile gave essence to the prey, sustaining an attachment distance, poisoned by rage and henpecked violence. The gamma rays ventured the spindle of my brain, winding around and about. The orphan in my heart followed the trail of madness provided, yearning for fulfillment. Chinimi lurched back and was obediently transferring her data to my head. I analyzed, observed the reactions, studied her every motion. I did not want another one falling for me. This was troubling. I could not sympathize with my victims. I needed a beautiful experiment. Knowing Sho would oblige and enjoy pain inflicted on him, I did not pester him with harm.

    "You fucking creep... why do you do this?"

    "Distracting myself from what I truly want. Dispelling my desires."

    "...Desires?"

    "I will show you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**February 11th, 1996.**

    _I numbed the back of my mind with lifeless sex. I thought of Sho and children, as if it was inexorable to do so. Gnawing, gnawing at the insanity in my heart, she is. Pawing at my emotions, wanting to gain a reaction. She submitted to me too quickly. I injected her with a syringe. Sho was a doctor in the past, therefore he has some spare syringes. I can use the same one repeatedly, if I disinfect it. He does everything for me, like a dog. After raping Chinimi, I brought her home and teased her in the tub. I brought her to my house and locked her in the basement for the night, cold. I love sliding myself between freezing thighs. I made the addition of a basement in the house for the benefit of my hobby. The house is trashy, an absolute mess. Bringing a child inside would be miraculous. If I can bring women in, I can bring my desire closer. For now, I will settle with Sho and this bitch._

    I closed the notebook, which had been used as my diary for days. I did not write in it daily, however much I wanted to. Certain entries were typed. Some were shredded and tossed in the can.

    "Ya writin' in that again? Makes me wanna read it. You write about your love for me or somethin'? Ya should drink with me tonight. Sad to think about ya eatin' alone and such. You even live without power sometimes. Might as well date me, huh? I love ya, Shenzo. Our bodies are compatible," Sho murmured, hands against my shoulders as he leaned in, crouching behind me. He was taller than me. "Your red hair, your red eyes, your cute attitude and temper."

    "You should be at home. You're drunk."

    "Came here to see you. Was hopin' to get ya up on that desk and... mmm...."

    "I won't cater to your fantasies. You only think with your crotch," I retorted, glancing up at him as he puffed out smoke. "No smoking indoors."

    "Ya aren't fun at all! I read some of it, because ya ain't gonna be direct with me. Readin' that sad shit makes me wanna hold you, ya know? Always sufferin' alone. Come on, Shenzo, pretend I'm one of the boys. You can tell me anythin'. I told ya all of it when we met, about my life. You hide things. I'll tell ya what I did yesterday. After work, I went home and thought of this ferocious, cute tiger in his work suit, and found porn with a similar looking man. Ya can guess what happened. After that I drank, and a lady called, asking if I was free. I told her yes. When I went to her place, she was all rubby, touchy, seducin' me with her outfit and drinkin' with me. When she tried kissing me, I bit her, pushed her away, and told 'er I was gay! She asked for proof, so I took her home and showed her all the photos I have of you. She ran quickly. I ate while talkin' to my mom on the phone, then fell asleep. Now what did you do?" he rambled, rumbling words from within his throat. He had black hair, blue eyes, and the Kansai dialect.

    Being an anomaly, I was unable to criticize Sho's obsession with me, despite it being disturbing, according to standards created by the public. His hobby was mindless and childish, whereas mine was criminal and repulsive. He contributed with information about his pictures and life to me, which in turn helped me to gradually open up. He confessed to taking photographs of me whenever I was vulnerable. He lived across the street from me, after all.

    "I raped a girl and... she's at my place."

    "Brief as always. Ya want me to call the police? Kiddin'. You chose the right man to tell. The one with mental issues like yourself. You could see your kind. I think the thing you did to your parents was worse. Ya told me about that months ago, and the police aren't comin' after you. I told ya to tell me anything! I'll do anything for you. I got here early just to speak to you, and was hopin' we could do something more... ya won't fall for her, right? If you do, I...."

    I pushed the chair back, hearing him wince when it slammed against his legs. I rose and confronted his besotted, love soaked brain, securing my scampish trait. "You are a fool I fuck. I have no romantic interest. I only know sexual desire. _I can't love children_. You act like a child, yet you aren't one. You will never suit my fancy."

    He glowered. "You can't love because you can't sympathize. I'm a psychologist, Shenzo! Consult me. I want to teach you. I fell for you because I knew you wouldn't cheat... your devotion amazed me. I even joined that pedophile website for you. I'll do anything for you. I'm tired of being cheated on. I can't have sex with someone who isn't you. I'll find child porn for you, if you bring me home with you."

    "C-Child porn? All this time, I never found it. What makes you think you will?" I demanded, gritting my teeth as light bled through the peeled blinds. It was nearly time to begin working.

    "I have a new acquaintance. I pretend to like little girls, to get along with him. He told me he would send some to me, of little boys, despite it not being in my interest. I admit to being jealous. I want you to think of me as much as I do you. I'm selfish."

    When Sho dropped his accent, it meant he was serious, juxtaposing to his general personality of eccentricity and flirting. He had a difficult childhood, though it did not damage him psychologically. He feigned a readily excitable attitude. In him dwelled a drowsing beast, intoxicated by emotional demolition. Sho had extreme depression and threatened to kill himself if I did not visit him regularly. He worshipped me, made me his reason for living. What a distasteful fiend with soiled buds.

    Disoriented, he was, yet not to the dementia constructed mind of mettled lacerations that I owned. His parents had fought all his life, threatening to divorce, though not having the excess of money to do so. He watched his parents become violent physically and grasp for insults to spew. He became fearful of females when his mother resorted to beating his father, then murdering him. Sho claimed I reminded him of his father, and that he had always clung to his father when his mother grew furious.

    In the past, Sho had lured me into his house and grew grim, instructing me to sit on the sofa as he stood before me and voiced his dark side, his secret desire which taunted him.

    Sho had cannibalistic tendencies, and to control his lust for human meat, he cut skin off his finger and ate it. Shakily, he spoke of it with a Band-Aid wrapped around his thumb.

    "To hold back on my cannibalistic desires, I write of what I want to do," I had whispered to him, as he went off on a tangent and started sobbing, stating he had the desire because it had been passed down by his father. He wanted a reprieve, rather than to act on his fantasies, repenting in silence for his compelling thoughts. He was relieved to hear I had the same desire, though not to the aching extent he had it.

    That was when I shared my sexual attraction with him, and, guilty, he offered to have sex with me. Since that day, we had a strong bond, and he bristled with love for me.

    "In that case, I will come over tonight. I need to feed Chin-" I replied, biting my tongue and swallowing error as he teased with his smug smirk.

    "What was that? Go on, Shenzo," he prompted, "Chin? That reminds me of Chinimi. She and I were good friends in the past, 'til she decided to try to get into my pants. When I refused, she nearly forced me. You ever met her?"

    "Never."

    "The one you raped isn't Chinimi? Not like I mind. Was a bitch to me. Ya goin' to protect your man or not, Shenzo? 'Sho, I love you, I'm the only one who can rape you!'"

    "Cut the horse shit. You know I can't love."

    "I'll see ya 'round. Gotta figure out how to pretend I'm not drunk. Surprised I ain't talkin' like a chicken. Need to clear my head 'fore I see someone. O-Oh, boss! Nice to see you up here!" he fumbled, staring at the man in statement, who frowned at Sho, yet could not remain angry. Sho was the ever so resilient and substantial bulb in the room of widowed souls.

    Whereas Sho was a criminal psychologist, I was an office worker for criminology. I did all the paperwork for him. It would be hypocritical to become an officer, while astonishing myself with illegal activity and unjust compulsions. Sho was the psychologist who studied criminals, and I used his information as reference. I trusted he knew me best, and longer than any minuscule presence had. I would not execute him. He was beneficial to my self understanding.

    "No sleeping on the job, Shenzo!" that flea of a boss spat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "...as for the information regarding Takamura, we do not have enough to make a proper analysis of his character. I would rather focus on you. You're fascinating. If-"

    "Don't flatter me, Sho. I'm not in the mood. Give me what you promised and we'll fuck."

    The dim lighting shed glory on the melanic catastrophe in the mirror across from us. The man beside me downed more whiskey, leg propped on a damaged table, his personality a delicacy amongst impressionable, influenced brains. Sho was not swayed by irritation. Rather, he felt deep despair tousling his train of thought tendril. It was not my intention to offend him, nor was it in his nature to become reactive.

    "If I mean nothing to you, get out. Am I just some frilly fuck frenzy, compliant enough to let you bite the shit out of me and become your dog? You remind me of a boy I used to live with, in an apartment complex. He was a robot who looked like a human. His father abandoned him. The boy lived off of sex. If he did not have it every five hours, he would go into shock and die. I became his sex friend, to help him live. He knew I was in love with him, so he fucked other people, hoping I would forget about him. I replaced his father figure. I became so controlling, the boy ran away, and I haven't seen him since. Do you know how traumatizing it was? How are you any different? Finding random people to fuck, though you have me. You know how I feel, so why...? Is it funny for you? I know you're a sadist, Shenzo."

    His voice was slurred and pouty, emptying the silence in the room, life protruding, illuminating. His words were not gel in his hair. They were full of contempt and compassion, distraught anguish. He gripped his body and started sobbing as he had two years prior to that moment. Sho's depression was caused by longing, denoting he shall pertain to the needs of myself, not himself. His emotional instability was the reason for his upsetting story swirling forth, frothy feelings foreshadowing his next action.

    He raised his fist in recoil of the untold dream facilitation in his body, poising it above me. I winced and closed my eyes, peeking out a moment later to notice the war in his eyes, two halves shooting cannons across the turf. "I could never hurt you, even if you've hurt me so much."

    "You mean more to me than anyone else does. You know more than the others, and I don't beat you during sex like I do with them. You give me what I want. You're not afraid of me. I can be cold. I cannot love or care. At the very least, I have a bad way of expressing myself. Tell me if I'm doing something wrong, instead of scolding. I came here because it's you."

    "How cute. I want you, Shenzo. Between my legs, on top of me. I love you so much. I'll do anything for you...."

    "You will be jailed for that child porn," I muttered.

    "The man told me how he gets by the police. The mention of children has you hard now. You're funny. F-For me, instead... you should become like that. Come on. We'll watch it together and have fun."

    I felt a tremor in my abdomen, shuddering at the sight of him tugging at his suit tie and lighting a third cigarette. A single whiff of his familiar smoke had me aroused with visions of pinning him to the floor and molesting his mantra of manifesting despondency. I revoked his right to contribute to my undivine, incomposed, repulsive satisfaction.

    "You chose this, Sho."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The bed rocked tantalizingly, shifting under our weight as he pounded life into me, relentlessly jarring my soul open as he filled me with proof of his feelings for me. I grinded against the mattress, hallucinating a boy beneath me, pulled to the loose reality of a man as his penis swelled and pulsed with horny, dazed youth. The sound of a small boy whining and sulking out broken pleas struck me with asphyxiated yearn. I bellowed a dizzied lilac, rich violet sound streaming from my mouth as golden pants unsheathed from Sho's frame. He danced sweat across my shoulders, burrowing his face in my neck and biting, searing his crotch in my opening. He scorned me into temporary submission, jerking his hand across my firmly taut sex and digging his fingernails inside.

    "Shenzo, Shenzo...." he trailed off, voice an echo against the overbearing sexual acts of children with an anonymous man. Sho played his violin well, shamelessly strumming words. "I love you... never... go home."

    I reacted to the rumbling decay of his sifting stiff. He twisted his body to meet mine, vocalizing his appreciation for this double life leading coworker. He rocked against an enigma, draining my lungs out with every heave and orgasm contact. Soundlessly, I spilled against the sheets, watching the computer on the brink of child-like euphoria.

    "You peed a little," he noted, tickling my head and trying to yank an immature reaction of flustered degradation from me. "The video was interesting. So this is what you like, huh?"

    "I have synesthesia, Sho. Your voice is golden. Rare."

    "So cute, Shenzo, bringing up something entirely random. That's no way to profess your love for a man. How was it? You were so erect. I wonder if it was because of the child...."

    "Do it again," I coaxed, entrancing him, titillating his drunken brain and seducing him with my body on display. He could not resist, as expected of him.

    Sho could be used.


	2. Lesion in the Heart

Sho's POV:

Visions of Ryo possessed my mind, delighted my chime, and upon the rocking movement of my body, Shenzo startled me. With dispelled agitation, he prodded my shoulder and spoke of misleading pleasure, attempting to awaken me from a drunken nightmare. I was aware of how he took advantage of me and convinced me of corny convictions. I could not be belittled into his psychoanalysis. 

    "What do you dream of? Were you fucking me? It's uncanny of you to whimper and whine while doing it, in that case."

    I refrained from telling him of my troubled childhood. My brother, Ryo, was dangerous, my parents had always claimed. When he arrived home from being jailed, the family was not welcoming. I was curious, and when Ryo and I were alone in my room, I asked what he had done, to which he responded by silencing me. He started groping me and saying I looked like his cellmate. I resisted, complained. My brother visited frequently, and when he did, I was touched indecently. He taught me of sexual acts, encouraged me to provide him with fellatio. He threatened. If I denied his advances, I would be his next victim. I gave him what he desired. I never saw him again, and heard he was jailed soon after. 

    "That's quite the story, Sho, mind telling me why you didn't express it sooner?" Shenzo snarled, "Good job for talking aloud."

    "Shit... I thought you would lose interest in me and go after him, instead. I'm nowhere near as interesting as my brother," I sulked. "We were nothing alike."

    See through my detritus, he did, no matter the reticence I decided to claim. I did not relinquish the inflamed need to have him sympathize with me.

    "People claim they aren't interesting, in order for others not to pry further. You, of all people, know it, Mr. Psychologist. Interest is subjective, the public states. Don't be so incompetent. I deem you intelligent enough to know you interest and entertain me. If you did not, why would I be in your bed? I'm not falling for it. Are you testing me?"

    I shifted in his reach, compelling him to rouse suspicion and become possessive. He pulled my bare torso closer and bestowed a gift of sagacious salamanders, fingers streaking against my back and scraping the skin. He prompted me to answer, before he delved into delinquent rebellion and tossed my sense of sanity across the room. 

    "You, of all people, know it, Mr. Use Sho For Selfish Reasons," I mimicked. 

    He stifled an emission of displeasure, remission not feasible or prominent. Shenzo did not appreciate sarcasm, nor did he enjoy being caught in a pig pin of pretentious pretending and floundering. He was off guard and meandering a mind full of presumptuous self righteousness into the site of a car crash. Pathetic, I remarked. 

    "I care about you, Sho."

    "You're a liar, Shenzo. You care for nothing but yourself. This is all solicitation for your own gain. I want your love, not sex with children involved, dammit. If I'm jailed, I-"

    "You are self conscious. The thought of me touching a child disgusts you, because you see the child as yourself. I have no time for you. I care for you, which is why we should not see each other outside of work."

    "You are a sociopath. A psychopath. A monster, Shenzo, not a fucking Carebear. You pedophilic, child cock lover."

    "Enough."

    He sent a saturated snarl, thumbing the rash on his arm and glaring minatory red wine into my eyes. I choked on spit as he continuously stared at me in a lickerish manner, panting and taking control of his heated loins. Anger aroused Shenzo. How had I not considered it?

    Unbeknownst to him, I was spurred on by his bullshit, paying tribute to the lusty face of red before me. A maunder broke loose, and I was repeatedly apologizing to him, guilty for the immature words forced on him. 

    "E-Even if you are dangerous... I love you. You are a rose! Beautiful, prickly... I'm pissed off because I don't believe you could care for something that isn't child porn. Sociopaths lie. I trust you, Shenzo. Would you lie to me? I know you're using me. Well, I don't mind it. You should take my feelings into account. I'm a man with feelings, unlike you."

    As if agreeing, he gently pressed his lips to mine, palming the front of my pants. Compared to him, my mind was simple, not cluttered with words from a dictionary. Shenzo had severe mania, and when he had a manic episode, he claimed there were words for as far as his mind could wander. I was more experienced with men than he. I was the only man who claimed his body. Before me, there were dozens of women. Shenzo had never offended before. Children awakened his fantasies.

    "Sho. If you adore me, wait here. I need to tend to Chi- you know who."

    "Return quickly... I'll be thinking of you. Don't touch a child."

    "I need to release sadism. It will not be on you. I hold grudges, Sho. Don't forget."

    He often called my name, peering into my intentions and corrupting the mind I had wanted to depurate. To turn pure, how could I? I would allow Shenzo to please himself, for one day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shenzo's POV:

    As I arrived in the resort of a basement, where spiders dwelled and amputated body parts sat in hell, Chinimi sobbed. How indecent, this vulgar display of inconsiderate nudity. She portrayed the essence of a foolish whore, a disgraceful repugnance, compared to my nurturing vase. I thought of Sho, mesmerized and undeniably cross. I forced the female to the frozen tiles beneath her, stamping on her nose and fluctuating need and disgust, torn. She moaned in pleasure, consenting to my acts, arching her back for more of my abuse. I drove a fist against her skin, a ploy for my attention. I did not settle with the shade of blue ensuing, slamming my knuckles against her and relishing in screams of a pleased girl brewing. 

    "I'm sure you've met my guard by now. He puts the bodies in the holes for me. If someone sees, he will get caught, not me. He is risking that, because I pay him. Sho gives me money, and other things. You're disgusting, shitting yourself here. Hm, and looks like there is a parasite in it. Just like a bitch, full of man sperm and STIs. Now parasites, too. Glad I fucked your vagina, instead."

    I reached down and took ahold of it, soiling my fingers and forcing it inside her petrified mouth, admiring the garish setup. "If you dare spit it out, I will slice you to  _ pieces _ ."

    She chewed the worm and swallowed, opening and displaying insect particles. I chuckled, stumbling forward in my slightly drunken state, capturing a moment of mesial humiliation. I tore apart slander in my head, ripped convictions. She screamed in arrant fright, unknown excitement in hindsight. She concealed her enjoyment and pursed her lips with a persona of normality. She, too, was an anomaly. She was developing Stockholm. I recognized this, reminded of when Sho spoke of rapists he dealt with. 

    Sho and Chinimi were both faking, to fool me. I refused to be denounced a fool. 

    Dizzy, I was, yanked to the floor by irresistible gravity, knees coated with defecation. Coprophagia was in no sense a fetish I favored. I much preferred urination, vomit exchange. Feces was my weakness. 

    Puzzled, I groped at her breasts, receiving a taste of eroticism from her shriek. She was laden with disease, this  _ female _ , whom I could not have my ass shredded by. If she were intuitive, she could read this rage filled expression I bore. Rather, she stared, rag squeezed like a corpse's bones hugging its body. These eyes, standard, driven by lifeless hopelessness. Yet beautiful, all the same. 

    "P-Please, Shenzo... if you're a pedophile, why are you doing these things...?"

    "When did I say I was a pedophile? That never happened. My memory is extraordinary. Always has been. I never forget."

    "All of the rooms in this basement... reserved for children... I saw them. It's terrifying. Are you trying to get me pregnant, Shenzo? I could never give my child to a DISGUSTING MONSTER!"

    "Seems it was alright to make you go hungry. I only came to make sure you hadn't died yet. I need to go shopping. Be a good girl and I will not tear your limbs off quite yet. Understood?" I proposed, grimacing at the sight of her charred body. The guard had fun with her. She was my property, not his. 

    I heard the stampede of snow in my head, chilling me to my guarded heart. She could not inveigle me to love her. To love meant to taste the forbidden fruit bestowed to me. On all the forums, I was supported for my restraint. I was vulnerable to my whimsical, egocentric methods. I could impregnate her and take advantage of the innocent child mind she birthed graciously. I had to pretend to love. It was not difficult, for no one intruded on my private mind. I had an excess of personified emotions to provide. I wore a mask. To take it off would mean losing oneself in deep madness. I could not draw attention to myself. I needed to control her child and rape its every moral thought out. 

    She sprawled out, prostrating, lying on her back and biting her lip amorously. I felt my heart swell, biting the strawberry I had avoided for oh, so long, pleasuring my mind with visions of stitching my lips to hers and kissing ever more. She was not all too special, fumes of need wrapping her like a tight vine. The captive, misbehaving, tar black rejoicing with pepper gray. Words painted her throat, drying, peeling as she choked on them, strangled by the hold I had on her body. 

    Spontaneously, I jerked off my pants, rolled them to the floor, and beat her with the urine soaked garment multiple times, overwhelmed by her smell. She covered her face with her bound wrists, whining and asking for it to stop. I crushed her clitoris with the heel of my shoe, tainted by her blood as an austere glare traversed to her. When she became immobile, I rushed out the door of the basement, crashed a fist against the pale guard, and sailed to a room of diary entries and clothing.

    The walls were dark red, representing the desire I both loathed and adored, pregnant with anxiety and insensitivity. The bed was monstrous, a white mattress hidden beneath a red comforter and black sheets. I, controlled by OCD mannerisms, created a decor of haphazard in the middle, in the shape of a circle. My notebooks were cut to a circular shape, and the windows were circular, as well. My work was stacked neatly in a pile, inside a red wood cupboard, alongside many notebooks and sketches. In the past, my payment was deserved by selling pornographic child sketches. The Windows 95 computer sat on a desk beside the bed, chair worn from use and aggression. 

    The image collection was promiscuous and devious. 

    I debated sending a message to my pedophile friends, earning a reaction of panic. I had never kidnapped a woman before. I raped and killed on the spot. 

    My risque behavior was unsettling, tormenting. I numbed the distress of my attraction with painkillers, rereading my doleful poems and short stories. If I published a tale of this desire, the public would understand it came from deep within. I hid from the public eye, isolating myself in a house of somber memories.

    On that bed, my body contorted for the camera, many years ago. I was molested, teased... raped. My mother recorded as my father used my body for his sick pleasure. Both parents were jailed. I remained, with a disheveled attraction, a remnant of what I had experienced. 

    Sho stated that there had been a disruption in the maturing of my brain, which caused me to fear adults, particularly females, and yearn for young boys. It was intolerable, despicable. My father may have raped me, though my mother was physically abusive. Alas, I was taught homosexual sex from an early stage in life. 

    I added originally undisclosed information inside a notebook, kissing the pasted image of an endearing Sho. Secondary to his depression were his anger management problems, thus he lashed out on occasion, insulting me before growing unadulterated and shameful. My prideful status revitalized him. 

    I suppressed the hankering to mold his conscience in mine, reigning chauvinistic compulsions on the room, deteriorating the circle and creating a rectangle. Flourish, flourish, mania. Control my stubborn soul. 

    I stapled my legs intact, numb from alcohol, struggling to pull pants on. In my head, meaningless words roused, uncountable, disjointed.  _ Jousting, unorthodox, shell, pinnacle, brain, animated, scunge, dinner, irony, testimony. _

__ The mania was setting in, gloriously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I parted the fingers of a fragile, discreetly impure hand, lost in the eyes of a young child. The mother had turned to prowl for sausage, separating meat and reading packages. How incredibly agile, this boy, locking me in the cage of his mind and swallowing the key dry. That key shined, dripped. Venerate, I did, breathing steadily against his face, images flashing through my head of unlocking the door, fucking the electric blue lock passionately with my key. Ah, yes. His eyes were a striking electric blue hue, accentuating his unimpeachable mien. I wanted to be thrown in a sea of his eyelashes.

    He had not uttered a sound. The mother jerked around, gawking at my muscular build from afar. I was precariously scheming the deficiency of my nonlethal stature. 

    Perhaps the most portent execution of my sanity was the fact that, despite being tipsy, I was subjected to the sight of Sho purchasing condoms and flirting with a woman.  _ A woman. _ He feared women just as much as I, therefore why? There was no construction or analysis to the sentence ringing in my mind, the question I darted from, acting without attention to my thoughts. 

    "-Ya know? Glad to meet a woman who understands. If ya don't mind, I need to go home and wait for 'im. Unfortunately not a very patient person." The words from the female were inaudible. "That so? Well, your breasts are cute. That's what I think, at least. You want me to touch 'em, to confirm it isn't true?" I waited. "Nah, nah, I put it to good use. You wanna peek? It's been raging for a while now."

    I stared at the mass of people stepping in front of me. Drastically, we were separated. I needed closure for the pounding head I inhaled words from. 

    I forced many aside, void of pathetically kind words, boiling with swears and descending animosity, which tickled my toes. I earned stern reminders to get in the back of the line, choking a man to ensure he would move. Out of the view of those behind me, I was not suspected. Nor was I excused for my behavior. 

    Wrapping my arms around the back of Sho's torso, I did not dawdle, prodding him with my key. He glanced back slowly, lacking time to remonstrate before I jabbed him in the chest with my middle finger and waved it at the girl. "Hello, my name is Shenzo, and this man is mine to fuck, not yours!"

    All were disconnected from words as they zigged like wasps in  _ my _ head, pulsating. I spoke in decibels higher than reciprocated. Sho spoke in a low tone.

    "She's a lesbian, Shenzo."

    "What was that about touching her breasts?"

    "Her chicken breasts, Shenzo, to confirm they aren't too soft. We're in a supermarket."

    "H-Heheh... why are you interacting with a female? You d-despise them...."

    "To overcome my fear! The next criminal I have to deal with is female. I can never look them in the eyes. I'm practicing, alright? Shenzo, you don't look well. You wanna go home? Shenzo?"

    My vision was laced with dark madness. Steeper, steeper, in you go, grow!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I looked into a camera, stood beside the bed, glaring down at me. A rectangular shape. A dim reflection of a disgruntled ignominy gleamed, pristine as tumbleweed, breathing until his breath steamed the cold air. The mattress was laden with moss, and the putrid scent of a decaying body permeated the rocking sea around me. The world was a drunk man, at that very moment, shaking and whirling. Sho gazed hungrily at my nude body. 

    "This isn't like you... Sho...."

    "You went home to the lady you raped. Are you cheating, Shenzo? I care more than she does. I love you! I killed the woman who tried having sex with me the other day. I wanted to bond with you, through murder...."

    "Put the gun down, Sho," I commanded, knowing he was rather bipolar and could snap. There had been a time in the office when he threw a chair at me. I took days off to recover from the wound. He was aware of his dangerous tendencies. "What do you want?"

    "Stay with me. Stay. If you run away, you will be no better than him...."

    "I will not have sex with a demanding man. Calm down. We're both jealous of each other. I need to rape to satiate the urges. You understand. I-"

    "Trample me! Rape me, abuse me...."

    His mouth wobbled with his frame, exhausted by anxiety and sadness. The wheels were turning, and the situation had developed with tremulous flight. Sho deserved pity, disgust. The seed in his mind had never sprouted. Insulting him for this childish outburst would be feasible, yet unreliable. 

    "Put the damn gun  _ down _ ," I warned. 

    Hesitant, he dropped to the floor and slid the gun across the wood, palming the cigarette pack in his pocket. In awe, he observed the details of my body. There was a perilous pit in his pool of pissy fits. He was muted, sending waves of desperation to my head, hoping the robin would react to the foundation of his acrimonious attributes. I glowered, taming him under my radar, chortling a strip of detesting. I mouthed words to him, yet he did not see. When did he ever see? He only saw himself, grappling in a stream of water, restrained to his heart and stormy emotions. Fool.

    I rolled on my side, startling him in his renunciation reverie. His drooling dog eyes pestered my heart of steely grit, pierced the lies threatening to regurgitate from my mouth. I lied more than I vomited, which was odd, because I lived with an eating disorder and spewed all my food out. Only Sho knew of it. 

    Sending me to a town of sin, the silence was. His fingertips brushed against the skin of my thighs. The weight of the world wafted into my body as I began to feel drowsy once more. He was drugging me with a syringe. This man was a lunatic who resented himself and catered to my every flip of a penny. 

    I resisted, clawing at the mattress and threatening the man, lies festering and conjuring in my head of madness, gladness! I was fraught with guilt and grief, predicting the predicament's downfall, morphing into Sho's pet on a leash. 

    Why must you sedate me, Sho? Is my adoration for you, too, perhaps the effect of an injection?

    I lost to the substance of my body, tapering to a travesty of a fretful man. Soundless, I begged. I must have screamed, according to the fluctuation of Sho's voice, which became strained. 

    Why must it be me, whom you deliver your lust to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I awoke in my tenuous bed of red, committing to the celebration of my brain, which thudded and pounded out a song. On the ground, Sho was, flitting through my journals with widened eyes, restive. I had not given Sho the key to my house, nor the number code to access the inside. He was a renowned stalker, I needed to remind myself, terrorized by thoughts of him ripping into my insides and coexisting with my body in a chamber. 

    I had not emitted a sound, therefore his moan transpiring brought treachery. He masturbated to the sentences scrawled in those notebooks, devious and deep throated before put on paper. I wrote of coitus with children, manipulating, controlling. Sho seemed anxiously excited over the scenes that described my acts in detail. Sho, the same pervert in the office, was truly a sex obsessed specimen. 

    I mutilated his sounds, stripping the bed of its red, covering his head and gripping the sheets around his neck, strangling him in the process. He sat still, pressing me into an execution of planning. 

    "Release the notebooks."

    He placed them on the ground as I tightened the hold on him and heard a snort of terror escape his throat. Feeling it would be best to be on good terms, I pulled the sheets aside and collapsed with them, drifting to the floor and kissing his nape thoughtfully, exposing his skin. He did not respond, nor did he retract his body from my careless torture. 

    "Am I burdening you with my feelings?" he questioned, burying his visage in his hands, rivaling Chinimi silently.

    "Don't be so insecure, Sho. It's unattractive." 

    "I love you, Shenzo. I wasn't trying to scare you."

    "I am not scared."

    He flicked his eyes from his hands to me, eyelids trembling. The words in his mouth fermented and boiled with every movement of his head. He struggled to release the encaged noises. From his trembling, I deduced he was frightened of abandonment. He attached himself to a rope of persistence, hanging on to the bottom, soon to drop and get swallowed in a lake of bloody lack of luck. 

    “You even disposed of my father,” Sho murmured, dropping the notebook to the floor. I could only commend him for his temporary timidity. 

    Exasperated minutes slipped by in silence past the look of comprised complacency on his face. He became a corpse in a fraction of a few minutes. “You don’t care at all.”

    “I killed your step dad, not your father. Does it matter if I cleanse your household of that repulsive man? You were the one who did not go to his funeral. You like your father. Your step dad was an abusive freak.”

    He yanked in air, anger held captive in his capacious countenance. Sho bit back a swear before speaking tentatively. “Ya didn’t know me when my step dad was around. After we met and I learned about you, I knew it had to be you. Who’s the real stalker here? Every day, was I bein’ watched? Did you see….”

    Out of habit, his accent returned. He used it when trying to lure me into giving him information. It was childlike and comforting. Sho, albeit dense and unforthcoming, was a mastermind who calculated and gathered facts like they were part of a puzzle. He looked into my head as if I were nude and had my body on display. At times I felt susceptible to his yearning. 

    “I did not watch. My father did. I wasn’t the only one filmed, Sho.  _ When my parents or I lay eyes on you, you cannot leave our sight. _ ”

    Uncertain, he was. “The hell do you mean?”

    “That your abuse was recorded and used for deviancy. I killed the man, after seeing the footage. I was selfish. I loathed the act of sex, but loved the attention. I needed you out of the picture. Your step dad died, and your father returned to the house. He and your mother continued fighting,” I whispered, suspecting Sho assumed I killed the man because I cared about him. How vain. I did not care for Sho. 

_ Denial. _

__ “How the hell would a man get footage?”

    “The same way you get footage,” I muttered, motioning to the camera in the corner of the room. “It isn’t circular.”

    “Neither are you. How do ya’ say we go down and forget this whole mess?” he snickered.

    “Please, I’ve tried. I can’t forget you.”

    He appeared to be questioning my words before narrowing his eyes and plagiarizing the definition of disgust with the feasibly deterred expression drooping from his face. Sho did not properly respond when I made a snarky remark, due to his loyalty to me and the promise to  _ always  _ do as I say. Love made people go mad. I could not feel it, myself, though it was apparent in his words and shallow debates. I was made unwillingly aware of the fact that he was courting me, therefore shoved him into a pit of surrendering himself. 

    As I stood and turned decidedly, he clasped his hand in mine and cried out in distress, a swath of insolence passively evoking his thoughts. In a choked language of his own, he shoveled out words I did not understand. At every moment, I could not. 

    “I love you, Shenzo. Not someone else. I know you are the same. You won’t fall for that woman. R-Right? I loved you first, after all… stop, wait!”

    He lurched out an arm and withheld hypersensitivity, confronting my punitive reaction the second it slipped through a crack. “You are a crazy man. More so than myself.”

    “Crazy? Isn’t it logical to love someone who has never been loved?” he retorted, voice depleting with the descending of our feet. He eyed my guard warily. I ensured the empty food boxes in the kitchen were displayed in a circle and flies lingered like Sho’s unreasonable presence. “ _ Shit,  _ the place smells like hell! At least let me come over to clea-”

    “ _ No.  _ It is fine. Before you clean someone’s house, clean up your damn act. You’re so self indulgent you amuse yourself with me, a huge mess, to lose focus on your smaller mess and feel better about yourself. Some things you can’t deny, Sho.  _ You pitying me is one of them. _ ”

    I opened the door to rotting chunks of wood, too crudely disjointed to be considered steps, just as I was too physically delighted by Sho’s nervous and heated breathing to be stable. A bow of fleshy malnourishment pierced me. Sho’s skin pigment must have turned ten times lighter with the pale and distraught look on his terror wrought face. He spieled a mountain of thoughts, revelling in the aftermath of my hobby, pricking his devotion to me as he made an attempt to escape.

    I forced Sho to the floor with a hand covering his lips, light flickering blearily in the room, yet brightly in his eyes. I marveled in his panic etched  _ act. _

    “You vomit and you choke on it. Are you listening? I will watch you choke on it and never grant you a last breath. Even that girl will be better off than you. Humor me with more of your perilous attraction to me. I always lie to you. I can see when you are lying, too. I see it all, Sho. Every twitch of your eye. Every grimace you make.  _ If you dare put a gun against my head a second time, I will not hesitate to torture you more than I’ve tortured any woman. I would torture you until your body cannot bear anymore, and you beg me to finally kill you, every single day.  _ When you first told me you were in love with me, did you predict this situation? You’re a fucking fool for thinking you love me. An even bigger fool for never turning tail when things became worse. If you left now, I would track you down. You quit your job and I’ll chase you to the trenches of the ocean to find you. Be a responsible adult.”

    He nodded, tears crawling down his face. They yearned to escape more than he. He did not resist as I shanked his promise to never abandon me. It was not as if he did not want it. Rather, he was petrified and shrinking against the rickety floorboard. He thrusted his body into the ground and viciously shook his head while I drew a knife from my pocket. I sucked at the skin of his neck, reassuring him I would not harm him so long as he pledged obedience and a lifelong commitment of stalking and resentment. If my hand wandered to the wood beneath us, he would pretend to be self effacing. He calculated his words and expressions based on the observation of my hysteria. 

    I tapped the floor behind his head, watching in fascination as his eyes traversed to the direction of a single finger. Those eyes were cleansed by a banquet of paranoia and discreet, diminutive intrigue. He trembled and moaned in protest while I took a fistful of Chinimi, the woman’s, hair. Her skin was dried and the tone a pasty white, body impervious with protruding ribs and a failing heartbeat. 

    “Not even a whimper of struggle. Something wrong,  _ dear? _ ” I voiced, the echo of the word causing Sho to tremble in mortified anticipation. 

    Her body spasmed and rocked worse than Sho’s, violently shaking and turning like a chicken cooking on a spit. Distracted by my laughter and the immaculate work of art before me, I made light of losing my grip on Sho. He pulled a hand free and wrenched mine from his mouth. Urgency was evident in his golden voice, however he made an effort to tongue kiss me after hollering, “She’s having a seizure!”

    I recalled a time at work when a criminal Sho was speaking with started to have a seizure. He called me down in a state of panic, thankful as I helped him through it. I learned about seizures after having one as a child. I nearly died.

    “Leave her be. Already got a sex puppy as it is. Little missy here’s all cock and no stop, you’d think she needs to order a gurney for takeout after all the diseases she must have contracted. You were jealous of her, and now you want her to live? How paradoxical.”

    As her tremors subsided and she stopped seizing, I pulled her closer by the hair, until she and Sho were not far apart in breadth. “Two mounds of garbage. Both with brains I want to blow out. One nude, the other wearing bloody clothes. If she dies, they would suspect you. You would be framed as the murderer. After all, you are too devoted to me to say I did it. You would rather lie to an officer and say it was you. Why do you sympathize with her? She tried to kill me in that hotel we were in. She’s in a coma from the shock of what I’ve done. I snuck out during the night and….”

    He looked up at me with a gleam of interest. It faded into the depths of his heart, and he took on the appearance of lethargy. I came to the subtle realization that he was exhausted. I silently admonished him to stay awake and listen, or mayhaps speak to me. His state of depression instead resulted in a failure to operate and abide by my terms. 

    Sho dwindled from my fingertips, as if he was naught but rainwater spilling into a gutter. This time it was I who reached out for him in desperation. With a blotch of blood on his face, he darted from my grasp, racing through the long hallway of the basement. Though he was an alcoholic, Sho was in no way overweight, and surprisingly quick to his feet and quick to flee. His metabolism was quite impressive. 

    I neglected my duties to scramble after him. My hobby was more important than anyone. Why did I chase after him, then?

    Because he was bursting with life. An intelligent creature with analytical skills, surpassing the state of mind brought by any whore. He was so abundantly childlike and adored playing the victim card. However, he was mature and had adult tendencies. He was lithe, playful, and compatible for my discussions. 

    This was the first occasion he had run from me. 

    “ _ You ain’t a monster, Shenzo. Just an unexplainable masterpiece.” _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I saw him sitting under a canopy, addressing his situation aloud to himself as the young boys from a nearby orphanage smuggled their daily bout of happiness on to a playground. Sho was a people person when he decided to be. He was especially good natured around kids--which may be a factor  as to what drew me to him in the beginning. 

    The beginning being the time when I started working in his field, confronting him for stalking me in a bar we frequented and discovering the location of my house. We went in an all out war the moment I opened my mouth and shouted at him. By the end of the week, we were having angry sex and drinking together at his new house, which was across the street from mine. That being said, he wanted to live close to me and watch me from his window with binoculars. Asshole. 

    “ _ I am madly in love with you. W-Which is why we can’t tell the boss about our new relationship. I love you too much. _ ”

    His shameless outburst had rendered me aggressive. “ _ Relationship? Since when is fucking you called a relationship? I don’t love you, so I have nothing to hide.” _

__ Sho caught sight of me and motioned me over. He used to visit the place when his parents fought with their fists, afraid he would be used as a tool for the release of their anger. Back then, he figured I would meet him here. The boys from the orphanage were too old for my liking. I had not told him. 

    Sunlight peeked through the front strands of his black hair. He narrowed his blue eyes and looked to me for validation that he was doing the correct thing. Sho’s father was part American, hence his recessive eye color.

    “When you look up there… what is it you see?” he murmured inconspicuously, grazing a hand over his thigh as he winced. He sported a bruise from the fall, yet was not vocal about his discomfort.

    “I see children playing,” I answered, seeing everything in a literal light. Sho was the opposite. He gave everything meaning and made them personal to him.

    He contemplated in silence. “I see inside your head. You’re damn stuck in this small space and can’t escape. Ain’t that how it is? So ya pick up strangers to get stuck in the space with ya. Like a spider and its insects.”

    I stood by the shoulder of Sho, who sat on a bench, rolling his shoulders to ease tension. Beside me, he was relaxed. Or perhaps he was too defeated to act as if he was bothered. Had I won against the pathetic, sullen excuse of a psychologist? 

    “I can escape,” I whispered, “though not with you. It’s almost 10 AM.”

    Dejected, he lowered his head. He freed indignance and laughed like the pest he was. His back jerked up and down with the onslaught of his laughing fest. His unpredictable behavior was so terribly bilious, I was far too flustered to use words trapped in a blender. He cast an inimical glare in my direction.

    “I’ll see ya tonight, Shenzo. ‘Bout time for work. You’re wasted ‘n shit. You can try to push me away, but I’ll always return. Ya knew that, right? You taunt me and act as if I’ll give up and abandon you sometime. You’re afraid I will. We ain’t lovers, but we’re sure as hell friends. I’m gon’ make your lunch at my place.”

    Relieved he was acting normal, I accepted his words. He pressed a baleful kiss to my lips and vanished in plain sight. It was my turn to sit and watch the children play. 

    I had a longing for the salient circle, a yearn for the grinding of pale against brown, the red droplets as the apple was constricted... I wanted it so, the diminishing glow. Rationality was receding, just as the pink glare of the sky abated from existence. 

    Soon.


End file.
